I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
