He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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