did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
