She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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