And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize