I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
