you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
