I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
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It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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