I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
