Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Please, let me fuck your mom
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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