there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
