Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
