It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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