I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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