Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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