I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
