some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
