If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i was born a porn star she said
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
