I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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