I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
