i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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