Having a random hookup so left but love u
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
