She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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