Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
