I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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