I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We are all done wearing pants today
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
