yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
