Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He kissed a someone with a penis
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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