I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
