omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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