why didn't you poke me back
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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