Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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