the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
