i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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