He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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