haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
