am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
