what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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