So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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You know, be my cock's hype man.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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