I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
