I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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