That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
