My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
