If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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