i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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