She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Drunk is not a location!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
