As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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