like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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