so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize