He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
