oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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