and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
