at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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