I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
