what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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