Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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