I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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