so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
