The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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