Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
