it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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