You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
