who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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