therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My hand turned me down
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
