He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize