have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
