I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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