just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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