So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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